why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dicks are not precious.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
