Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I want her autograph on my taint
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
