Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
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either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
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my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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