There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he fucked my hip out of place.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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