I could have mohawked her pubes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have fence marks all over my body
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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