i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
