everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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