dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
