She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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