We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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