I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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