Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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