I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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