Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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