I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i would punch a child for taco bell
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
