Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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