it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
