He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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