is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
