Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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