Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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