swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
