whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
