I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
