girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
