I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
