This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
