who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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