I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
