one might say we're banned from that church
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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