I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
