i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.