so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
