I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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