Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My ass is underappreciated
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
