lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
