Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
