I'm lost and stupid without you.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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