and i looked up. we had an audience...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
