sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
