So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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