No more Irish car bombs ever.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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