So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
