I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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