she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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