Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
