im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
