Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
