hell yes lets make some ravioli
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
