seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize