Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This is my gift to your gina
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
