Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
