I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
