Plan B is the new Plan A
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
