I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
