i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
meet me or not, i'm out of control
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I have post one night stand depression
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