If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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