You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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