I cockslap morals
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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