Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
