we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
