from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
